MONROE, OHIO—Touchdown/Big Butter Jesus, 2004-2010. The 62-foot King of Kings statue on the east side of I-75 was destroyed by a lightning strike and subsequent fire. The statue was affectionately called “Touchdown Jesus” for the victorious arm gesture and “Big Butter Jesus” for its rich, buttery color. The fire disproved rumors that the statue was constructed of country fresh goodness and revealed that the statue was actually made of extremely flammable and destructible Styrofoam. The statue was also known as Big J, Super Jesus, MC 62-Foot Jesus, Drowning Jesus and Swamp Jesus. The pastor of Solid Rock Church where the statue was placed promises Touchdown Jesus will rise again and plans for its $700,000 reconstruction are currently underway.
In memory, let us sing the Heywood Banks classic tribute, "Big Butter Jesus"
In southern Ohio, just north of Cincinnati
I beheld a vision, next to the expressway.
Was a 60 foot jesus, with his hands in the air
looks like he’s carved out of butter,
just like at the state fair.
Big butter Jesus
Sweet cream Jesus
Oh country fresh Jesus
Unsalted Jesus
Oh Promise Jesus
Imperial Jesus
Can’t believe it’s not Jesus
Oleo Lord.
Well you see him from the chest up
like he’s about to do a back flip,
like he scored a touchdown
or maybe melting or about to drown.
Well I’ve been to the state fair
seen a cow made out of corn cobs
Garth Brooks made of string cheese
and the virgin out of olives.
Big butter Jesus
Sweet cream Jesus
Oh country fresh Jesus
Unsalted Jesus
Oh Promise Jesus
Imperial Jesus
Can’t believe it’s not Jesus
Oleo Lord.
Shipped in pieces on a flatbed
staring backwards was his big head
Driver stuck in traffic backups
desperately avoiding eye contact
Well don’t make no graven images.
That’s one of the 10 commandments
I hope the grading curve is kindly
You get to heaven with a 90
Big butter Jesus
Sweet cream Jesus
Oh country fresh Jesus
Unsalted Jesus
Oh Promise Jesus
Imperial Jesus
Can’t believe it’s not Jesus
Oleo Lord.
Can’t believe it’s not Jesus,
Oh spread the word.
No comments:
Post a Comment